"I saw Satan laughing with delight
the day the m u s i c died.”
Dean and Coping Mechanisms: Drinking2x15 „Tall Tales“ / 4x08 „Wishful Thinking“ /
4x10 „Heaven and Hell“ / 4x21 „When the Levee Breaks“ /
5x14 „My Bloody Valentine“ / 5x16 „5“ /Dark Side of the Moon
5x18 „Point of No Return“ / 6x03 „The Third Man“ /
6x06 „You Can't Handle the Truth“ / 7x05 „Shut Up, Dr. Phil“ /
9x17 „Mother's Little Helper“
Let’s talk about Dean and one of his strategies of coping with everything life throws his way. Let’s talk about how Fred Jones gave Dean his first beer, when he wasn’t even double digits and how his dad has been hanging with Jack and Jose more often than not while leaving his kids alone for days at a time. Let’s talk about how for Dean growing up people drinking a lot probably was nothing out of the ordinary, how for him it must have been normal. Let’s talk about how Dean grew up learning that drowning your problems is a – maybe not healthy – but acceptable and effective way of dealing. Or rather not dealing at all…
Let’s talk about how Dean was already drinking quite a bit in the early seasons, but nowhere near as much as he does now. Let’s talk about how back then he drank to loosen up, to let go and ~enjoy himself a bit and then let’s talk about how that tremendously changed after he came back from hell. How he needed to drink to not only blackout the memories of what he had endured, but also of what he did down there.
Let’s talk about how a couple of beers turned into beers and a couple of shots and a sip out of a flask here and there to drowning an entire bottle seemingly with no effect. How he needed it in order to be able to sleep sometime, how he said himself that he has about 50 to 60 drinks a week and how it only increased in the months after Sam had jumped into the pit and after Cas and Bobby died. Let’s talk about how drinking had nothing to do with ~enjoying himself at all anymore, but everything with just wanting to forget and not feeling a single thing. The one thing he has been craving ever since he was raised from hell.
Let’s talk about how Dean’s dependency on alcohol reached a point where Sam had to ask Dean if he could even get drunk anymore, because to him it must be like drinking a vitamin. Let’s talk about how it became the most normal thing for Dean to have a drink on his nightstand and a sip while working a job, how he needed it to function, how he probably felt the effects pretty badly if he didn’t have a drink in a while. Let’s talk about all that and then let’s talk about how purgatory sobered him up and how he substituted liquor with coffee. How he seemed to be on a healing curve and then let’s talk about how Sam’s hell trials, Sam dying, Dean agreeing to possession and Dean drowning in guilt because of that as well as sending Cas away pulled the rug out from under his feet and he was barely keeping his head above water. Let’s talk about how all of that just added to him turning again to one of the oldest ~friends, he knew. The one, who’d always been there in tough times, who provided comfort and a welcome fog once, but didn’t do that anymore.
Yes, let’s talk about all that and then let’s talk about how he then found a new cure to feeling too much of everything and how that not only became a,# new dangerous and damaging addiction - because it provided everything Dean longed for (nothingness, peace, calm) - but how that also helped with making Dean turn into what he never wanted to be…